The 4 Biggest Secrets to Great Communication at Work
The biggest reason people leave the jobs they have is because of poor communication.
In some cases, it's because the boss doesn't listen to them or value their opinion, in others it's because there's poor communication throughout the organization and the third reason is because changes come at people without warning.
It doesn't have to be this way. Everyone can be a better communicator if they use these four tips.
Make the Other Person the Star
Most people go into conversations for a number of reasons. Unfortunately, most are about them. They want to tell a story, impress someone, get them to agree with their opinion, show how smart they are, or something else.
Here’s a switch. Try going into that conversation making the other person the star. Ask them what they think, get them to talk about themselves and their opinions, make them feel comfortable and prove you’re there to listen.
This is going to be hard for many people. We’ve been conditioned to try to be the one carrying the conversation to show the other person how great we are.
Shut up and listen.
None of us can learn anything by talking. We know our stories and opinions already. We can learn by listening to someone else. Try it for a few days and see what happens. Ask questions like “What do you think?” and “Can you tell me more?”
Know What You're Going to Say
When you do speak, know what you’re going to say BEFORE you say it.
This is one of the most important tips I can give about communication. I never thought about it until a few years ago, but it’s really true.
Very few people take the time to think about what they’re going to say before they say it. Most know where they’re going to start, but haven’t thought about what they’ll say next and they certainly haven’t figured out how they’ll finish.
This can’t be done all the time, but let’s use a meeting for an example. If a person is speaking for a long time and you disagree with what they’re saying, think about how you’ll put what you’re thinking into words and how you’ll finish because that’s important too.
So often people start strong, but then aren’t sure what they’ll say next and they suddenly seem hesitant. They use “umms” and similar sounds that quickly result in credibility being lost. The more uncertain you feel and sound about what you’ll say next, the more your words lose their meaning.
To read more about this tip, check out my earlier blog on this topic.
Answer First, Explain Second
Too often people make communication difficult. The quickest way to improve is by directly answering questions. When you’re asked a question, give a direct response and then explain that response.
I see far too many cases where a person will get a question and proceed to give a lot of background before finally coming up with their answer. Your response is much stronger when you make it clear where you’re coming from, or what you’re thinking before you start giving the reasons why.
Too many people start by giving a statement without answering the question. The person they’re talking to wonders if they’ll ever get an answer. Suspicion and mistrust result because the person who asked the question starts thinking the other person is being evasive. That may not be your intention. You just want to give a full answer. The problem is, without answering the question you appear to be dodging it.
Answering the question up front gives you the right to then proceed into a full explanation.
When the Going Gets Tough - Plan
There are normal conversations and then there are really difficult conversations. The more difficult the conversation is, it’s more stressful too. That means extra time needs to be spent preparing for that conversation.
The stakes are just too high not to.
This is when you need to take more time to think your way through the conversation in advance, including what you will say, how you will respond and how you will act.
As an example, if somebody needs to be told their sales performance needs to improve at work or there will be consequences, that’s a really difficult conversation to have and extra time is needed to prepare.
My process is Plan, Practice, Listen, Counter and Close. I wrote about that in detail in a blog awhile back.
If you want to be a better communicator become a better listener, think about what you plan to say in advance and answer questions directly.
It’s not that difficult.
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