The 5 Most Annoying Air Travellers

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Summer is here and that means people travelling everywhere. That will result in packed airports and planes, with frustration over everything from flight schedules to lost baggage.

I thought about this recently and my conclusion is, it's not the airlines - it's the people who travel. I've been annoyed by many of the people who I've been on the same flights with for years, so I compiled my top 5 list of the most annoying air travellers.

5. Carousel Turf Squatters

We’ve all had this problem. By the time you get to the baggage carousel, a line of people has formed around it and the only way you’re going to get through is to transform yourself into a defensive tackle going after the quarterback. Why people don’t stand back a few feet to let others get their bag is beyond me. I have to admit I’ve muscled my way through a line or two like this in the past and didn’t feel bad about it.

Every airport should paint a two-metre strip around each carousel, much like the key in basketball. Big letters should be printed saying STAY OUT! Standing in the paint for more than three seconds should force you to sit in the middle seat for the next year. It will be WestJet's UltraBasic all the time for you.

4. Row Jumpers

Far too many people have no sense of airline etiquette. Just because you get into the aisle first after the plane lands doesn’t give you the right to blast past people in rows in front of you. That’s not the way it works. People in row 23 get should get off the plane after those in row 22 and before those in row 24. This isn’t hard to follow. Deplaning is slow, but works okay. It's the Row Jumpers who screw up the process.

I can understand if you have a tight connection. If you do, just say so and get off the plane. I suspect most row jumpers just don’t understand airline etiquette, or they’re selfish. Or both.

3. Zone Zombies

It’s amazing to watch people get ready to board flights. As soon as an airline starts boarding the first group, usually frequent flyers who are part of a club with a sweet name, almost everyone else on the flight gets out of their seats at the gate and starts milling around. They loiter trying to time the calling of their zone just right so they’re either already in line or close to it. They might be sitting in Zone 5 and Zone 3 hasn’t even been called yet, but they’re already in the neighbourhood.

I’ve discovered how to combat this. If I’m in Zone 3, I go to the front of the line and walk towards the back of it. When I see the first person standing around like a zombie and not moving forward I ask something innocently like “Is this Zone 3. Are you in Zone 3?” I usually get a sheepish “no” and then step in front of that person. I always feel like Mr. Bean when he proudly stepped into line in front of somebody else showing off his ticket. Let’s face it, the plane is going to leave at the same time. Why the rush?

2. Impatient Aisle Grabbers

These people are cousins of Row Jumpers, although many do wait for people in the row in front of them to get off first. Aisle Grabbers constantly seem to be in an Olympic event. They see how quickly they can unfasten their seat belt and get to their feet in the aisle, after the plane has come to a stop and the bell has gone off. Seems to me like the unofficial world record is close to two seconds.

Of course, Aisle Grabbers then make it nearly impossible for anyone else who wants to get up and grab a bag from the overhead so they can depart quicker, helping everyone. Aisle Grabbers are also famous for their impatience, as they sigh and get annoyed if the plane doesn’t open the doors to allow people to get off within a minute or so.

1. Carry-on Cheats

This was an easy call. Virtually every flight I’ve taken in the last few years, I sat in my seat waiting for the plane to take off and either shook my head, grumbled, silently swore, or did all three when I saw people carry oversized suitcases onto the plane and struggled to lift them into the overhead compartment.

Airlines created a monster when they started charging for checked bags. Now they can’t get it back in its cage. I’m positive more than 80% of the suitcases lugged on are over the limit. Folks this isn’t difficult. Airlines tell you what’s allowed. It’s generally just under 25 cms. in width, 40 cms. across and 55 cms. in length. That’s not much. I’ve even seen people struggle with two oversized bags. It’s the Daily Double of ignoring the rules for your own benefit.

Your list might differ. Feel free to add your comments below, but this makes me realize I have much more to complain about with some of the people I fly with, than the airlines getting us to our destinations.

Grant’s Note: This will be my last blog until September.  I plan to take a lot of time off and do some travelling, so I’m sure I’ll see several people on my top 5 list.

Have a great summer!